Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Hammers Near Completion of New Stadium



Team officials say that renovations to the recently purchased Cotton Bowl are near completion. The newly christened Lennon/Harrison Memorial Stadium was moved brick by brick to downtown Bucksnort, TN and then torn down and completely rebuilt. Dubbed by Silver Hammer fans as “The Quarry”, the 45,783½-seat stadium will be completed in time for the FFFL opening games (September 6-10). Stadium Designer and Chief Building Engineer, Alexus Mardis, better known as “Mystical Alex”, stated that the first week doubleheader format “originally threw off the construction timeline, but all will be complete in time for the first game, …er-uh, games.”

Details of the stadium have been cloaked in secrecy, but inside sources say that the state-of-the-art facility will be revealed as the new benchmark in fantasy stadium design. Among the reported amenities are refrigerated drink holders that keep beverages ice-cold for up to 4 hours. Another feature is a Wi-Fi system whereby I-Phones can be connected to the official Silver Hammers stadium site providing instant access to video replay, coaches headset communications, NTN’s QB1, and instant messages sent directly to referees on the field. The Wi-Fi is exclusive to those attending games and being wealthy enough to buy the I-Phone.

Possibly the most intriguing new feature is the virtual seat glasses, which allow the fan to be able to view the game from any one of 2,000 various viewpoints scattered throughout the stadium, including vantage points ranging from the owner’s box to a bathroom cam, thereby eliminating the “bad end zone seat.”

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