Hot Tickets And Even Hotter Cars

The Silver Hammers home opener against the Texas Turf Hounds has become the "hottest ticket in town"... er, at least as hot as a ticket in Bucksnort, Tennessee can be. While the Hammers are secreted away, scrimmaging with local Pop Warner football teams in preparation for the season, tickets to the Hammers first game in the newly re-built Cotton Bowl (now known as Harrison-Lennon Memorial or "The Quarry" to locals) has become the "must-have" item for the new fantasy football season. Fans are so excited about the game, that tickets sold out in less than 20 minutes, and are now being sold on e-bay for as much as $1,000 a seat.

In related news, The Silver Hammers plan on using a fleet of DeLorean Time Machines to insure that all starters will be able to play in both of the week one scheduled games simultaneously. The cars are each equipped with the flux capacitor, the device that makes time travel possible. Hammers' Coach Byrd has claimed to have invented the device; however, there is a patent dispute with Dr. Emmett L. Brown of Hill Valley, California. In addition, both the EPA and International Atomic Energy Agency have investigated Byrd for his use of the plutonium-powered nuclear reactors installed in the cars to generate the required 1.21 jigowatts necessary for time travel. Director of Team Travel, Martin McFly, stated that he has personally tested the cars and assures all that they are perfectly safe.

Hammers Forfeit Remainder Of Preseason

In yet another unprecedented move, rogue head coach Erick Byrd cancels the remaining Hammers' preseason games just hours before the third scrimmage. After two back-to-back dismal showings against rival teams Peon Gorillas and Agate Types (losing 56-10 and 72-3, respectively), the Silver Hammers have decided to forfeit the remaining two scrimmages. "We believe that the team is ready and doesn't need to exert any more energy than necessary", said Byrd. "We have some aging stars that need the rest and it's doesn't make sense to risk the injuries." Many fantasy football analysts are criticizing the move, saying Byrd just doesn't want any more embarrassment for his team and equating the move to an "immature spoiled brat taking his ball and going home." Byrd stated that while the Silver Hammers' official FFFL preseason games will not be played, the team will be scrimmaging with local Pop Warner teams to warm up for the regular season.

Funny Fantasy Football Videos On YouTube

Funny Fantasy Football Draft Commercials from NFL.com
#1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs1N5NYyb24
#2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt14sVlIk4g
#3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGqc8PeYq5A

Spoof Fantasy Football News Segment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd0MEC4HVwQ

Fantasy Football Rap (WARNING-Some Explicit Lyrics)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1ZCPv94ATo

Cheerleader Tryouts A Disappointment; Team Decides To Forego Sideline Entertainment

Amid high expectations, the Silver Hammers held open tryouts yesterday to fill a cheerleading squad. However, initial excitement was soon dashed by the poor quality of the turnout. Public Relations Director, Polythene Pam had this to say following the tryouts, "We are sad to announce that the Hammers will not have cheerleaders for the 2007 FFFL season. After much debate and discussion amongst our panel of judges, it was decided that the top finalists just didn't meet the basic standards of representing the Maxwell's Silver Hammers product." Said the eccentric owner, GM and head coach, Erick Byrd: "These girls were just plain U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi ugly! However, I do have to say, the guy with the megaphone did a very spirited anti Al-Qaeda cheer." In another MSH Blog exclusive, included here are photos of a few of the finalists.

Training Camp Exclusive Photos

The Silver Hammers Blog has recently received exclusive never-before-seen photos of the Hammers top secret training camp.

morning callisthenics

defending the option at Snickers Shock Zone camp facility

the alternate practice jerseys

proof that the "Hand of God" is on their side

Owner Declares Draft Complete Failure; Still Expects To Win It All

In an exclusive interview with the Silver Hammers Owner, GM and Head Coach, Erick Byrd expressed his utter disappointment in the results of the 2007 fantasy draft. While the team was able to pick up some fine acquisitions to go with the core franchise players, Byrd said that he was surprised that his last minute bid for LaDainian Tomlinson and Peyton Manning for his final 2 draft picks was not accepted. "We entirely expected that by the end of the draft we would have Manning, Tomlinson, Steven Jackson, Marvin Harrsion, Steve Smith, Antonio Gates, Vinatieri, and the Baltimore Defense. I am completely astonished that the other owners wanted these players!" Shortly after Byrd would exclaim, "With that team we could have ruled the world!", then broke down into a sobbing heap on the floor of his mansion. After 30 minutes, Byrd regained his composure and declared, "The Silver Hammers are a force to be reckoned with and we will win it all." It is unclear what the "all" is, but this reporter believes it has nothing to do with Fox's Fantasy Football League, at least not the 2007 season.

The current Hammers team (post draft):
QB's: Romo & Trent Green, RB's: McGahee, Jamal Lewis, LenDale White & Chris Brown, WR's: Johnson, Laveranues Coles, Donte Stallworth & Isaac Bruce, TE's: LJ Smith & Tony Scheffler, K: Matt Stover, and DEF's: Green Bay & Seattle