Saturday, August 16, 2008

A Solid Draft Puts The Hammers In Position To Finish...Uh, Eh, About the Same

The Silver Hammers selected its "dirty dozen" to go with the team's keeper "four horsemen". Overall the July 26th FFFL draft was a good one, but with aging injury-prone stars and a few psychological "risks", the Hammers will likely not budge in the overall standings this year. Introducing the Silver Hammers 2008 draft class (in order drafted): Antonio Gates (TE), Greg Jennings (WR), Seattle (DEF), Fred Taylor (RB), Bobby Engram (WR), Heath Miller (TE), Jon Kitna (QB), Javon Walker (WR), Mason Crosby (K), Tampa Bay (DEF), Jason Wright (RB), and Ricky Williams (RB).




Team owner Erick Byrd likes the outcome of the draft, even though there are some questions going forward. "It's likely that some of the later round picks will be waived prior to game 1 or early in the season, but we are hoping that they play out and show us some surprises." Byrd denied that the surprise last round pick of "former" marijuana enthusiast Ricky Williams was simply a publicity stunt. "No-no, we expect great things from Ricky. He is a fine upstanding citizen and we are very impressed with his attitude. And his homemade brownies are awesome - I just can't seem to stop craving them."


FFFL News: An interesting police blotter came out the day after the draft. The Texas Thunderbolts called the station to report the theft of it's cherished San Diego Defense. 'Bolts owner Tony Fox was later seen roaming the streets in the rain screaming out "Shawne!" ...Agate Types broke a draft record by picking five unproven rookies, some that had to have handwritten stickers made for the draft board. Owner Wayne Carter has drafted a youthful team for a future run at the championship and if all goes well, should be ready by the year 2045. ...and finally, it only took 6 rounds for a team to take on chance on Bret Favre's possible return, when the Ruskies picked him 66th overall. Given Favre's subsequent trade to the Jets, owner Michael Kusik may have gotten the biggest steal of the draft.


Silver Nuggets: Hammers' WR Chad Johnson may have finally gone off the deep end. Not only has Johnson started legal proceedings to officially change his last name to "Ocho Cinco", he also claims that he can outswim Michael Phelps. ...And another first, the previous Nugget is not fictional.