Home Opener Not As Big Ticket As Once Believed

It seems the much reported "hot ticket" in Bucksnort this season was not the Hammers home opener as earlier reported. Tales of tickets sold on e-bay for $1,000 turned out to actually be $10.00. "There was a typo in the decimal position," said an embarassed Darik Tailor, Silver Hammers' Press Agent. Instead of a sellout crowd, fans were standing outside The Quarry trying to give away tickets. Inside, musical opening act "MC Hammer" was booed offstage for wearing genie pants. And the police had to be called midway through the 2nd half as drunken Hammer fans, the few that were there, were getting into fights using the game's promotional giveaway, actual silver-painted Craftsman hammers. Said Tailor: "It was probably an ill advised idea to give away something that could be used as a weapon the same night as beer was on sale for $0.25 each - but it looked good on paper." Owner Erick Byrd said of the melee, "Vince Young won't be the only person to get sacked this week."

Applications for the Silver Hammers press agent opening can be mailed or faxed to MSH Personnel, Lennon-Harrison Memorial Stadium, Bucksnort, TN.