Hot Tickets And Even Hotter Cars

The Silver Hammers home opener against the Texas Turf Hounds has become the "hottest ticket in town"... er, at least as hot as a ticket in Bucksnort, Tennessee can be. While the Hammers are secreted away, scrimmaging with local Pop Warner football teams in preparation for the season, tickets to the Hammers first game in the newly re-built Cotton Bowl (now known as Harrison-Lennon Memorial or "The Quarry" to locals) has become the "must-have" item for the new fantasy football season. Fans are so excited about the game, that tickets sold out in less than 20 minutes, and are now being sold on e-bay for as much as $1,000 a seat.

In related news, The Silver Hammers plan on using a fleet of DeLorean Time Machines to insure that all starters will be able to play in both of the week one scheduled games simultaneously. The cars are each equipped with the flux capacitor, the device that makes time travel possible. Hammers' Coach Byrd has claimed to have invented the device; however, there is a patent dispute with Dr. Emmett L. Brown of Hill Valley, California. In addition, both the EPA and International Atomic Energy Agency have investigated Byrd for his use of the plutonium-powered nuclear reactors installed in the cars to generate the required 1.21 jigowatts necessary for time travel. Director of Team Travel, Martin McFly, stated that he has personally tested the cars and assures all that they are perfectly safe.