Cinderella First Season Leaves Hammers With A Second Season Hangover

The Silvers Hammers suffered a devastating double-header loss in their openers to start the season in the hole 0-2. It appears that the surprise success of last season has left the Hammers with a Dean Martin sized hangover, losing by scores of 97-118 to the Peon Gorillas and 97-125 to the Wild Bunch. The sluggish start began early as the team's starting running backs, McGahee and Lewis, both game-time decisions, were benched in favor of backups Taylor and Williams. In fact, roughly half of the team is currently suffering from some sort of injury, leaving Hammers' head coach with few options. Byrd decided to go with a double tight-end setup, hoping Heath Miller could stop the bleeding. But alas, he could not, only scoring 5 points; which is not that bad when only 3 of the starting 9 scored in double digits. The low points were the Seattle defense with a big goose egg, Ocho Cinco scoring only 3 points and the Taylor-Williams backfield only scoring 9 points combined. The few highlights were posted by the always reliable Romo (46 points), Greg Jennings (14 points) and Gates (13 points). The 97 points was the second lowest point total in team history, beating the previous low by only 1 point.

FFFL News: The golden boy Tom Brady suffered a season ending knee injury, leaving the Powder Puffs owner Chess Ward to wonder if some of the Peon Gorillas infamous bad luck has moved to Las Cruces... Thunderbolts owner Tony Fox continues the Bolt Dynasty with this week's top scoring RB and 2nd best QB, while scoring the most points in the first week with 169. And to pour salt on our collective wound, he has recently picked up from waivers this week's top TE and yes the "defender of the week" (inside joke) Arizona Cardinals defense.

Silver Nuggets: Chad Johnson's legal name change to Chad Ocho Cinco has caused a disturbance in the Hammers locker room as fellow Silver Hammers Antonio Gates and Greg Jennings each expressed interest to follow suit and name themselves after their jersey number. Both changed their mind when they realized they would share the same surname as the former Johnson. No news yet whether Romo has decided to change his name to "El Super Nueve"... Ricky Williams was asked how it feels to start in the FFFL again and was quoted as saying "Dude, sweet!"... Halftime entertainment at the Hammers opening game was a surprise guest of Williams, none other than Dave Matthews. When asked how it felt to perform in front of a fantasy football crowd, Matthews was quoted as saying "Dude, sweet!"