"Bad boys" of the FFFL, the Ruskies defeated Maxwell's Silver Hammers by a score of 109-115, causing a new "Cold War" between Russia and an MSH fan. "We don't like those no good Russian pinko commies and we don't think it's right for them to sponsor a FFFL team," said a Hammers 
fan and part-time cable installer named Larry. When it was explained to Larry that the Soviet Union no longer exists, Russia is now a democratic nation, and the Ruskies name and the hammer and sickle symbol are a throwback reference to a Communist government that has been defunct since 1991, he simply walked away with a confused look, mumbling something inaudible about the movie Red Dawn and then shouted "Git-R-Done!". Despite the loss, the Hammers benefited from another great game by kicker Matt Stover, who had 5 field goals and an extra point for 18 fantasy points, as well as steady scoring from RB's Willis McGahee and LenDale White, who filled in last minute for the injured Jamal Lewis.
The coach's crystal ball appears to be on the fritz, as the benched Green Bay Defense scores 32, while Seattle's Defense got the starting nod and only scored 3 points. Befuddled and visibly upset owner Byrd had this to say, "The Three Stooges could've played better than we did this week. We stunk it up out there." The 109 points are, so far, the lowest by the Silver Hammers.
Silver Nuggets: Some confused fans were turned away at the ticket gate this week over a misread newspaper headline. Apparently the slightly inebriated fans mistook "5-1 Ruskies On Top" to read "51 Brewskies On
Tap" and were upset that the stadium only served Russian vodka. ...The Hammers are on the road once again next week versus the Agate Types, but a local radio station is still hyping the game by conducting a call-in contest, giving away a trip and tickets to the game to anyone who knows what an Agate Type is. So far, the team has had no winners, but are 
considering giving honorable mention tickets to a fan who stated that an Agate Type was "kind of a fence door that is sold at Lowe's"...finally, former fantasy hall-of-famer A.J. Cimson, most famous for his surprise acquittal for running the red light at Green Oaks & Cooper, was recently arrested for breaking into the hotel room of newsman Les Nessman and stealing his coveted Silver Sow award. Said A.J. "Yeah, the award was originally mine, but I sold it 3 years ago. I changed my mind and want it back, so I'm really just taking what is rightfully mine. By the way - I ran the light."
Tap" and were upset that the stadium only served Russian vodka. ...The Hammers are on the road once again next week versus the Agate Types, but a local radio station is still hyping the game by conducting a call-in contest, giving away a trip and tickets to the game to anyone who knows what an Agate Type is. So far, the team has had no winners, but are 
considering giving honorable mention tickets to a fan who stated that an Agate Type was "kind of a fence door that is sold at Lowe's"...finally, former fantasy hall-of-famer A.J. Cimson, most famous for his surprise acquittal for running the red light at Green Oaks & Cooper, was recently arrested for breaking into the hotel room of newsman Les Nessman and stealing his coveted Silver Sow award. Said A.J. "Yeah, the award was originally mine, but I sold it 3 years ago. I changed my mind and want it back, so I'm really just taking what is rightfully mine. By the way - I ran the light."
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